The Power of Forgiveness: FindingFreedom Through Christ
“But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” ~Matthew 6:15
Sis, this week’s blog compelled me to share my personal experience with forgiveness. As a child, I went through many struggles. From 6-20, I lived in 12 different homes - none with my mom and dad. I had no place to call home. When I was 9, I was almost molested by my cousin in Haiti. At 14, I was sexually touched by a friend of one of my caregivers. At 15, I had to remove mice droppings from rice to cook for me and my brother (two years older than I) since our new caregiver was drunk and couldn’t really care for us. I’ve had to fight huge flying cockroaches for the last piece of bread.
But I survived.
I don’t have pretty hands. I have lasting lower back pains from hand-washing jeans and blankets and bending over to scrub on a washboard. My hands are forever deformed due to often putting them in water. Waking up at 5:00 AM in the morning was no strange thing for me. Up to clean, cook, and wash, all before I went to school. As a child, I struggled from nervousness and chewed on my nails almost to the cuticles. I still do this today.
You see, I lived with my dad and stepmother. My dad was often gone as he worked on an outer island and came home only on the weekends unless he was on vacation. My stepmother was a hard woman who believed in working children and dropping her heavy hands on their backs if they didn't do what she wanted as fast as she wanted. All the children who lived under her care experienced those hands. My sisters. My cousins. My brother. And Me.
And I hated my stepmother. And I hated my little sister. Later in life, I forgave my sister because she was a child and only did what she could.
My hatred for my stepmother intensified when my dad died in 1999. I blamed her for everything wrong in my life. She didn't raise me in love. She did not care for me and my brother. She drove my dad to depend on nicotine to cope with his stress, killing him.
She. She. She.
All this time, I was a Christian.
But in 2006, I heard a sermon that changed my life forever!
I lived in New Jersey with my 6-year-old son and two nieces. I was extremely active in church life. One Communion Sabbath, my pastor preached a sermon on forgiveness. The only thing I remember about the sermon was his appeal: You may be doing everything right: giving to the poor, serving in every ministry at church, returning tithes, and giving a liberal offering, BUT if you have hate in your heart against someone or if you cannot forgive someone, you will not even smell Heaven.
Forgiveness is not always easy, especially when someone has deeply hurt us. We often hold onto the hurt and anger, unable to release the pain. But Scripture tells us that forgiveness is crucial to our relationship with Christ and others. And through the power of forgiveness, we can find true freedom. Forgiveness is a powerful concept that can change lives in ways we never thought possible. It can unlock doors, heal relationships, and free us from anger and resentment. But forgiveness is not always easy - it requires courage, humility, and vulnerability. Thankfully, as Christians, we have a source of strength beyond ourselves: Jesus Christ. In this blog post, we will explore the power of forgiveness through Christ and how it can bring us true freedom. It did it for me, and I will do the same for you!
Forgiveness is Key
That fateful day in 2006 woke me up. Do you mean to tell me that I won’t go to heaven because I held a grudge against my stepmom? When I thought about it, for 7 years, I had not taken communion. I had purposely decided that I would never partake of the Lord’s Supper because I was not worthy of it, and frankly, I felt justified in my decision. I was done wrong, and no one had asked me for forgiveness. However, I could not fathom doing all the good I do and not going to heaven. Initially, I forgave my stepmother because of this sermon. As a matter of fact, I have never told my stepmother that I forgive her for all she did to me. I told God. I’ve come to realize that forgiveness is for me, not for the other person. And that was the change that relieved me of the pain and hurt I felt for many years.
Forgiving others is a command from God, one of the most important aspects of our relationship with Him. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Forgiveness is essential to the Christian life because it reflects the forgiveness that God has shown us. It is a powerful force that transforms lives. It's not always easy, but it's necessary for our own growth and well-being. We only hurt ourselves in the long run when we hold onto anger, bitterness, and resentment towards others.
Forgiveness requires us to let go of our pride and ego. It was a pride thing for me once the pain wore off. You might be guilty of this too: you’ve sworn never to talk to that person again, or you are done with that person. That was me with my stepmother. But we must be willing to humble ourselves and extend grace to those who have wronged us. This doesn't mean that what they did was okay or that we should forget about it completely, but rather it means that we choose to release the burden of their actions from weighing down on our hearts and minds.
When we forgive others, we also open up space for God's healing power in our lives. Unforgiveness creates spiritual blocks within us which hinders our growth as believers. Often unanswered prayers may be rooted in an unwillingness to forgive. Forgiveness allows us to move forward and follow God's plan for our lives. It allows us to experience deeper peace, joy, and contentment.
So remember, forgiveness is key. It's essential to walk with God and allow Him to work through us. When we forgive others, we demonstrate the same grace that God has shown us.
We can begin the journey toward forgiveness through prayer, studying God's word, and seeking counseling if needed. We may need to forgive others multiple times before we feel free from the hurt and pain they caused us. However, with faith in God and a willingness to let go of our pain, we can find peace and healing.
So start today by asking God for help forgiving those who wronged you. Take small steps towards forgiveness each day until you finally feel free from the burden of unforgiveness. Remember that all things are possible with Christ's power working within you – including finding true freedom through forgiveness!
The Cost of Unforgiveness
Forgiveness costs us nothing, but its absence can cost us everything. When we harbor bitterness and unforgiveness, it eats away at our peace, joy, and well-being. In my own experience, holding onto resentment towards my stepmother only caused me pain and turmoil within my own heart. Although we have resolved our issues and are close now, unforgiveness robbed me of many wasted years without a relationship with my little sister.
I’ve learned that forgiveness is not easy, but it is necessary to live a fulfilling life. It requires humility, vulnerability, and a willingness to let go of our desire for revenge or justice. It means acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes and that holding onto anger and resentment only harms us.
But the beauty of forgiveness is that it sets us free. When we choose to forgive, we release ourselves from the burden of carrying hurt and pain. We open ourselves up to healing, peace, and renewed relationships. In fact, forgiveness can transform relationships and bring about deeper understanding and love.
As a Christian, I am reminded of the ultimate act of forgiveness through Jesus dying on the cross for my sins. He forgave me even though I didn't deserve it, and through His example, I learned to extend forgiveness to others. It is a process that takes time and effort, but the reward of a heart full of love and freedom is priceless.
Unforgiveness is a heavy burden that can have serious consequences. Holding onto grudges, resentment, and bitterness toward someone who has wronged us can create an emotional prison for ourselves. It can lead to negative feelings such as anger, anxiety, and depression that affect our relationships with others.
The cost of unforgiveness is high because it robs us of joy, peace, and happiness. When we hold onto past hurts, we allow the person or situation to continue controlling our lives long after the incident. This often leads to a cycle of negativity that perpetuates itself over time.
Unforgiveness also affects our physical health by causing stress on the body. Studies have shown that holding onto anger and resentment increases blood pressure levels, possibly leading to cardiovascular disease or other medical conditions.
Furthermore, unforgiveness creates a barrier between ourselves and God since it goes against His commandment to forgive one another as He has forgiven us. It hinders our relationship with Him as well as with others around us.
Harboring unforgiveness is costly both emotionally and physically. Letting go of the pain through forgiveness brings freedom from these burdensome emotions allowing for healing and restoration in all areas of life, including relationships with God and those around you.
So I encourage you, dear friend, to choose forgiveness. Let go of any unforgiveness that is holding you back, and allow yourself to experience the beauty and freedom that comes with forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness may cost us our pride, but it is worth the price.
Forgiveness Brings Freedom
You may say, Sister Brenda, but how? How do I let go of this pain? How do I reconcile hurt relationships? I’m glad you asked! Simple...Pray!
Let us, like David, pray to God to “Create in me a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within me.” ~Ps. 51:10.
This new heart will release you from the chains of unforgiveness and open the pathway to freedom from bitterness, anger, and resentment that can hold you back. When you hold onto grudges and refuse to forgive others, you carry emotional baggage that weighs you down. Trust me, I know. I did it for seven years!
However, you are freed from this burden by choosing forgiveness instead of holding on to your hurts. You no longer have to carry around the weight of your negative emotions and can live more fully in the present moment without being weighed down by past transgressions.
Forgiving others may not be easy initially, but it's important for personal growth. It allows you to release yourself from toxic thoughts that only bring negativity. Instead of wallowing in feelings of sadness or anger towards another person who has wronged you, forgiveness frees up space for positive thoughts like love and empathy.
In essence, forgiveness brings emotional healing, which is critical for leading a healthy life both physically and mentally. By choosing forgiveness over holding grudges against those who have wronged you - intentional or unintentional - you open yourself up to new opportunities where positivity reigns supreme!
Forgiveness is a Process
Forgiveness is a process, not an event. As aforementioned, it took me years to forgive my stepmother. It takes time and effort to forgive someone who has wronged you fully. Forgiveness involves acknowledging your hurt feelings, accepting responsibility for your reactions, and letting go of the resentment you feel towards the person who hurt you.
The first step in the forgiveness process is acknowledging your pain. This can be difficult because it requires confronting uncomfortable emotions such as anger, sadness, or frustration. However, by recognizing these emotions and putting them into words, you can better understand why you feel hurt.
Next comes acceptance of responsibility for your reactions. When someone hurts us, we often react with anger or hostility toward that person. While it's understandable that we would want to lash out at those who have caused harm, this behavior only perpetuates negative feelings within ourselves.
Finally comes the decision to let go of resentment towards those who have wronged us. This may involve confronting the person directly or simply accepting what has happened on our own terms. It was the latter for me. I never confronted my stepmother about the way she treated me.
Ultimately, forgiveness is a journey that requires patience and self-reflection for true healing to occur. Choosing this path instead of holding onto grudges or bitterness toward others will lead you closer to finding freedom through Christ's love and grace in your life!
Christ is Our Example
As Christians, we look to Christ as our ultimate example in all aspects of life. This includes forgiveness. Jesus forgave those who persecuted Him, even as He hung on the cross (Luke 23:34). He showed us that forgiveness is not a one-time act but a continual process (Matthew 18:21-22).
Christ's example teaches us that forgiveness requires sacrifice and selflessness. It means putting aside our pride and loving others despite their mistakes or wrongdoings towards us.
Furthermore, Christ's teachings show us that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing the offense committed against us. Instead, it involves acknowledging the harm caused and consciously releasing resentment or bitterness toward the offender.
By following Christ's example in forgiving others, you can experience true freedom from pain and hurt. You are offered eternal salvation and hope for healing from all wounds through His death and resurrection.
Looking at Christ's example reminds us of the power of forgiveness through His sacrifice on the cross for our sins. We can find freedom from emotional bondage while leading fulfilling lives through God’s grace by imitating His actions with genuine love toward others who have wronged us.
I tell you the truth; forgiveness is not easy. You cannot do it in your own power. You need the power of the Holy Spirit working in you. Forgiveness can bring you freedom and peace. I’m sure you have seen how unforgiveness can cost dearly and damage relationships with others. By choosing to forgive, you open yourself to healing and restoration. It's important to remember that forgiveness is a process that takes time, but with Christ as your example, you can learn to let go of anger and resentment and embrace the power of forgiveness.
Sis, if you are still holding on to unforgiveness, resentment, and anger toward someone who has wronged you, surrender it all to Jesus. He heals. He restores. He mends broken hearts. Seek God's guidance in cultivating a forgiving heart to experience true freedom through Christ. May His love guide you as you navigate your own journey toward finding freedom through forgiveness!
Live with purpose today.
Your Sis in Christ,
Brenda
